My former company registered managers for a Dale Carnegie course and it was probably by far the most uncomfortable thing I personally ever went through, but it was very much needed on a professional level. It forced public speaking, it forced small talk and it forced me to break out of my bubble. It was embarrassing to have my peers see me shaking in my boots and even worst having the GM called in at the end for our final speeches. Not everyone is a natural gifted speaker and one of many things that I learned from the exercise, was that not a lot of people seemed natural or comfortable. In fact, more people seemed in the same boat as me.
In social settings, it can be unnerving striking up small talk. Most people find small talk uncomfortable. It’s awkward. Even in my marriage, I remember on several occasions being dragged to certain events where I would have to find common ground with other husbands or boyfriends. I was never a sports fan growing up, so that cancelled out about 90% of the potential with other sports buffs.
The good news is that I did learn a lot from the Dale Carnegie course. Small talk doesn’t have to be as painful. You can find common ground around these questions:
Where did you grow up?
What high school did you go to?
Where did you meet your spouse?
Did you go to college or trade school?
What do you do for work?
Do you have kids? If so, how many?
In the thread of each question, you’d be surprised how much you could have in common with someone. Once you find some common ground, it doesn’t seem as scary as you think. If you’re put into a social situation where you don’t know anyone, you can always stick with the person you’re with until an introduction is made. You can even express to the person taking you to the event, that you would appreciate the introductions, so you didn’t feel alone.
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