I’ve been an introvert my entire life and always wished I had the qualities of an extrovert, but that’s for another post. I’ve never been good at introductions. I’ve done thousands of them in my lifetime, but never felt comfortable as an extrovert would naturally do. I remember when I was in college, I had a professor that loved to randomly call on people and I’d be praying to God it wasn’t me next. He called on me several times and I remember giving the short answer to everything just so that he’d move onto the next person. Fast forward several years later, things never evolved for me. I’d be in large formal meetings, where introductions are made and I felt like I was always humiliated by the time the spotlight was on me.
The moment, I would hear, “please go around the room and introduce yourself, title, what you do?” The anticipatory anxiety would be off-the-charts by the time it got to me. My mind would be racing a million miles per hour looking for every excuse to just die at the table. I’d play out scenarios in my head how avoid being put on the spot. I could say that I got a text and there was a family emergency, or that I had to be excused to go to the bathroom, or hope that they would maybe skip over me. Nope! I’m was not that lucky.
It finally gets to me and I can’t speak without my voice shaking because my heart is pumping so hard. For those who don’t have anxiety probably think it’s hysterical or feel awkward witnessing this, but for someone with a severe panic disorder, it’s debilitating. I’m not a small guy either. I’m 6 feet and I’m 200 lbs. My confidence in my athletic ability to do something is pretty high, but I’ve somehow developed zero confidence in my life with introductions at almost 40 years of age.
I decided to take a stand and fight back at this eternal battle with anxiety. In my exploration, there are several prominent figures that battled with this as well. Along this journey, I’ve found that you must push yourself outside of your comfort zone and like any type of training, it requires practice. Not just introducing yourself, but if you look at the larger picture, you must put yourself in the situations that make you uncomfortable to break that barrier.
Here’s what I learned:
Always come as scripted and rehearsed as you can. Practice in front of a mirror. Video tape yourself on your phone and listen to your voice (you are your greatest critic). Get to the meeting room early and adjust to the environment. Being in new places can be scary and can cause you to go into a panic attack if it’s not familiar. If you need to, write down word for word on a piece of paper in front of you and stick to script. Sometimes your mind is racing too much to even recite something so stupid and small. Rather than make eye contact with the entire group, pick one person and start to focus on more people the more you feel your confidence level raising. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it doesn’t. And that’s okay! Never drink coffee or tea before your meeting. Even if you didn’t sleep a wink the night before, coffee will make you more anxious and even if it aids you in being alert for the meeting, your biggest hurdle is your introduction. After you make it, drink up.
You learn from practice. Go in with the mind set of doing the introduction for a meeting and take notes of your triggers. What made you feel confident? What didn’t? What caused you to deviate from the script? What did you eat or drink? Your notes are to help equip you for your next stab at introductions, so log everything and keep at it. I never understood what came so natural for others would be something I’d have to sink an investment of time into, but I made a promise to myself to face things head on and do what it takes to live a healthier and less anxious life.
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